I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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