Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
