pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My penis needs a shock collar
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
