I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
