I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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