my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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