thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize