can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
that's an acceptable place to lick
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am naked and annoyed.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
