Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
