when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
