Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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