your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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