Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
