He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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