"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
