Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
is it fun? or sober?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
