Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
