Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize