We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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