allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
