I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
