she looked like the bat from fern gully.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
