Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
