C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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