So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
