ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
