Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
