Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
