All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
