I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
