and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
