it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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