She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
