If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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