Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
