My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
