Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
