Only a mothe r could love this liver
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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