I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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