Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
