It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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