Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We need a shit load of segways right now
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
