If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
