Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Randomize
