Buhtt sex?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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