How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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