My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She just used a chaser for red wine.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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