he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
