Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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