The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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