She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize