Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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