He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
