South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Operation Purity has been aborted
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
