STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
