You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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