I look better un-naked...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
