yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
