She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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