Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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