I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
